Getting Closer

In 4 days I will be going into hospital to give birth to my baby girl. I can’t believe it is nearly here! Last night I realised how many questions I have for the medical professionals but fear I may have left it too late to ask them now! Let’s hope I make it to my antenatal appointment on Tuesday and can ask the midwife (who I can bet you won’t know the answers!).  I’m a bit apprehensive about being induced when I have Group B Strep. Need to ask about the order in which they do things so I can be clear about when to expect the antibiotics etc.  I’ve had a couple of nightmares over the last few nights, and I think they are driving the anxiety. 

In my first dream, I found myself at the hospital just after having given birth to a healthy baby girl. My best friend was packing up my stuff for us to leave (she’s a strong believer in getting home ASAP whereas is stay in forever if it meant getting looked after!) and then I realised I hadn’t told the midwife about the GBS! No precautions had been taken to protect the baby from infection, and after a few grave looks from the midwife my baby was whipped away to SCBU. That’s when I woke up so I don’t know what happened next. I don’t think it has helped that although my maternity notes are plastered with GBS warning stickers, the consultant at the hospital has never quite understood that I have tested positive in THIS pregnancy, not any other!! Doesn’t fill you with much confidence does it!! 

The next night I dreamt that my waters broke at home and I was alone so had to get myself to the hospital quick so I could get the much needed IV antibiotics. Suddenly some kind of drone-robot thing was flying at me shooting, preventing my exit.  I had to get passed it and get myself to hospital but everywhere I turned there it was.  Some time passed whilst I battled with the thing, and I finally made it to the hospital.  This time I made it really clear that I had GBS and needed antibiotics.  The midwives acknowledged me and off they went to get what I needed, except they never came back. They were busy running around doing their job, but never returned to me to give me the vital medication. Again, I woke up so I have no idea how this ended.  I have a vague recollection of searching hospital cupboards for the medication so I could self-administer, but can’t tell you how that worked out!

I knows these are normal worries.  Every expectant mum will experience some level of anxiety as they approach  D-day.  It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve been there, labour is unpredictable, and giving birth to a healthy baby is a miracle! And if you have any risks or complications, those worries are clearly going to be amplified as the date draws nearer. 

I did some research on GBS last night. More research! And I know that the Internet can be dangerous when you are already worried about things, but this was really useful. Firstly the article shared the odds of a baby becoming infected with GBS.  Without diagnosis, and therefore the necessary antibiotics, the odds were in the low 100’s.  With a diagnosis and antibiotics, those odds dropped dramatically to around 1:6000.  So I’m in a good place, because we know I have tested positive, and (as long as neither of my dreams come true and the hospital is switched on) I will get what I need to give my baby the best chance.  

What will be will be, I have no control over it. Today I am more excited than scared.  Oh, and want to hear something funny? My blood group is B Positive! I had to smile at the irony of that yesterday!! 

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