Losing it

Do you ever get so tired that you just want the world to stop so you can unwind and savour the peace? So tired that every sound, every movement, cuts right through to your core like nails running down a blackboard? Ever get so tired that one false move from anyone close could light the fuse that is simmering inside you, and cause you to blow?

That’s me tonight. I have just screamed at my 5-year old son like some kind of wild banshee! After hours of little squabbles and answering back throughout the day, he dared to lean against the cupboard door into the freshly ironed shirts!! Does he not realise how knackered I was stood there ironing them?? Does he not know how much I hate ironing shirts?? Well, of course he doesn’t! He is only 5! But that didn’t stop me from losing it, and now I’m left with the guilt and embarrassment for my actions.

What must it sound like to a 5-year old when his mother screams at him unexpectedly? What goes through my husband’s mind when he hears it? Does he think his wife is crazy? A nutjob lunatic who can’t keep her cool? I daren’t even give too much thought to what I think my family think about me. I’m sure it isn’t good…

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