Tonight I feel a darkness closing in around me. A darkness that feels heavy on my shoulders and even heavier on my heart. It’s like there is a load on my chest, and it is making it hard for me to breathe. I can almost see the atmosphere, thick and heavy and black, swirling closer and closer towards me, threatening to knock me off my feet. I daren’t look away for fear it may take me. I daren’t blink for fear I may breach the dam that is holding back a river of tears that would not stop flowing. The effort is almost choking me.
How did the darkness find me? I thought I had outwitted it. My genuine positivity about the direction in which my life is moving had banished her far beneath the earth. But here she is. Dark and heavy and waiting to take control again. I didn’t let her in this time; this time someone else opened the door.