New Year’s Eve

I wanted to post something uplifting and joyful, full of inspiration for the approach of the New Year. The fact is I feel pretty miserable today. Silly really because I have a lot to be thankful for and an exciting year ahead of me.

This is the first year since I was a teenager where I have nothing planned for tonight. Even last year with pneumonia I managed to rustle up a family get together. This year it’s just us; me, the husband and the kids at home, doing nothing. I guess we’ll be in bed before the New Year begins. I know it’s just one night, and it shouldn’t mean so much. I know that I should be able to find the joy in being at home with my nearest and dearest and accept that it is just another date on the calendar. But I can’t help but feel sad. Sad that all the people I usually see the New Year in with are off doing their thing this year and I’m not going to see them. Sad that I will probably be awake at midnight seeing the New Year in alone when the kids and husband are in bed. Sad that the little voice (that has been pretty quiet of late) is trying to make this all seem very significant – like some kind of a sign of things to come. Sadness and loneliness. It’s no way to see in the New Year.

Why not though? Why does it have to be all singing and dancing to be special? Surely that’s just habit – what we’ve always done. I will work hard today to see the good in a NYE spent alone with my little family, and try and stop these tears…

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2 thoughts on “New Year’s Eve

  1. Hi. My name is Lana and I have been following you for some time. I have similar problem to yours and trying to deal with it like you do. It looks like you have made a huge progress since starting this blog!!!!!!!! Tonight should not bring you down just because you don’t have big plans. Think- maybe you are given this time alone for your benefit? Just think about it. We don’t always see IT ALL when we are given it at first, and you are very aware of it,I believe. If knowing that doesn’t help maybe you’d like to try this thing we do in Ukraine – as the Big Ban strikes 1,2,3,4 open your back door and let the Old year out of your house and say thank you to it for all the good it brought ( talk to it as to a person leaving your home) and as BB strikes 10,11,12 open your front door and invite the New Year in,agen like a person-telling it what you would like it to bring you. It might sound silly but it works. Just give it a try and believe in it- a whole nation does it!!!!!!!!

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