Metamorphosis

I have thought far too much.
I have wasted tears on people and things that did not deserve them.
I have concerned myself more than I ought with my perception of how other people perceive me.
I have given people the power to hurt me and allowed too much of my present to be governed by my past.
I have struggled with emotional challenges and faced demons that would see me crumble.
I have allowed the voice that tells me that I will never be good enough too much freedom.

This year, a metamorphosis began.
I learned to close the book of the past and look forward to a brighter future.
I accepted that I will never be everybody’s everything, but that I am something to a great deal of people.
I accepted that I cannot control what everyone thinks or what truth they choose to believe and that all I can do is my best to be kind and loving to those around me.
I realised that the only one who thinks I am not good enough is the lone voice inside my head, and I silenced her.

My children believe that I am the best mother in the world. My husband loves me more than any man ever has. My true friends know every shade of me from dark to light, and love me anyway.
I have decided to believe that I am good enough. And it doesn’t matter how many other people believe it, as long as I do.

2015 is a year of new beginnings for me in more ways than one. It is the year my family will be complete, and the year that I will allow myself to feel truly complete. No longer half a person living half a life, missing perfect moments whilst over-analysing the past. These past few months have shown me a glimpse of the joy that can be felt through living this precious life in the present. Thank you to all of those who have helped me get there.

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