Well, I feel I should apologise to anyone who has read my posts up to Friday only to be left in suspense! Things moved on that day and I can now announce the arrival of our beautiful, most perfect daughter.
I left you in the early hours of Friday morning where I was waiting to hear what the next steps would be. I was examined and told that my body had made no progress since the previous day and that I would be given a prostin Pessary to try and move things along. And that’s what they did – it should work within 6 hours. Should! It didn’t. I was taken for a further examination at around 4:30pm where I was told that my cervix was still tilted back and only 1cm dilated. I was absolutely devastated – the delivery of a baby was starting to feel like a far off target and I didn’t know how much I could take. The examination itself was excruciating and I couldn’t contain the screams! The poor midwife! My best friend heard me from the ward. They decided that there was nothing more they could do in triage and that I needed to go to the delivery suite for a second prostin pessary. The midwife said that I would not be able to cope with my waters being broken and advised gas and air for any further examinations. Within an hour I was taken up to the delivery suite where I was met by the midwife whose hands I would now be in. She told me she would attempt to breaks my waters and set up the gas and air.
At this point I became very concerned about the Group B Strep as I had my head filled with all the horror stories and warnings about the danger of waters breaking without the antibiotics being administered. The midwife was calm, and showed no concern at all for the GBS. She said she would attempt to break my waters, and if successful I should have a bath to freshen up. She planned to put the cannular in and deliver the IV antibiotics at 18:40 and was happy as long as I had them in my system for 2 hours (adding that she hoped I didn’t deliver any quicker!).
I dreaded the internal. But she was amazing, and with the help of gas and air my waters were released in seconds. And she informed me that in the time that had passed since the previous internal on the triage ward, I had progressed somewhat – my cervix was no longer posterior and I was 4 dilated. The IV went in at 19:00 (ish) and I delivered a perfect, healthy little girl at 21:07!!
I could recount the entire labour experience, I could tell you about finding out that I could get through an intense contraction purely by talking!! I could tell you about the gas and air and hysterical fits of laughter. And I could tell you about the pushing part where the pain relief was abandoned and I took myself off into a zone where only I could get this baby out. I could tell you all about how much it hurt, how I cried that I couldn’t give any more, the panic that set in every time I lost the urge to push and I felt my baby retreat back up the birth canal. But we all know that every labour is different , and no matter what kind of delivery you have at some point it is going to hurt like hell!
Or I could tell you that none of that matters now that I am home with the most perfect baby girl I could ever have hoped for. All of the fears and worries of the last 9 months were completely unfounded. My baby girl may as well have come out with her fingers stuck up and a sign saying “Fuck you ‘Ant’!” Because that is why I think she is here. She was brought into my life to teach me some lessons, but most of all she was sent to me to show me that you really can dare to dream, and once and for all kick my old ‘friend’ ANT well and truly to the curb. Of course there will be times that I will have normal worries and concerns. But I cannot and will not allow that negative force to consume any more of my life. I’m confident I can do this – do you know why? Because of this…