Apologies to any readers if you are hoping to see some joyful ‘light at the end of the tunnel’ post now that I am getting closer to D-day, because right now I feel far from joyful!
My body is saying it’s time to finish work and start preparing for the imminent arrival. But I’ve committed myself to another 3 weeks and the delivery of a big project, and there’s no getting out of it. I’ve spent all weekend trying to complete some of my work, but can’t concentrate, can’t get comfy, and keep bursting into tears of frustration (which makes it really hard to see the laptop screen!). Knowing that there is no way out without seriously damaging my reputation at work is causing me immense stress and I can only see the despair growing in the coming weeks. I feel hopeless and useless and I just want to pack it all in and hide under a blanket to wait for my baby to arrive. I keep finding myself praying that she will come early so all the stress of work, and waiting to see her arrive safe, sound and well, can be over. It is going to be a torturous 6 weeks or so, and I don’t have the strength to fight off the fear, stress, pain and fatigue. I really don’t know how I am going to get through it 😔