ANTs and More Catastrophic Thinking

So, good old ‘Ant’ is back, and not content with making me worry about the present (mainly because I’ve managed to knock her down on that score) she’s moved onto trying to wreck my future before it has even happened.

I know that I am getting on a bit to be having another child (40 on Thursday). Trust me, this wasn’t in the plan!! But it seems that all the medical professionals feel the need to remind me how ancient I am at every appointment. Most recently being told that it was unlikely I’d be allowed to go too far past the due date as the risk of stillbirth increases after the age of 40. Thanks for that consultant! It’s ok, no it’s fine, I didn’t have anything else to worry about!!! 😏

I hadn’t really worried too much about my age. I’m pretty young at heart, and I know 40 isn’t old at all (despite thinking that was ancient when I was younger lol). But all this negativity about my age has started me thinking about the future and I have Ant there to tell me that I might not even be around to see my youngest daughter get married. If she waits until she’s 30 like I did, I’ll be 70. Heck, I might not even be here! Or at best I could be walking her down the aisle with the aid of a Zimmer frame! If I’m too old, or not around to see her get married, it is likely I’ll never see her have children. If she has a child at my age, I’ll be 80 and won’t be able to help her like I should be able to.

I know it’s silly to think that way – who knows when any of our numbers will come up? While I’m busy worrying about what might happen in 20 years from now, the man upstairs might be plotting for me to get hit by a bus tomorrow!! No point wasting precious moments in today concerning myself with tomorrow. Easily said than done though isn’t it. Plus, Ant’s voice seems to have been getting a bit louder these days…

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4 thoughts on “ANTs and More Catastrophic Thinking

  1. Of course every one of us is different — there are no truisms when it comes to people. But, my mother was 42 when I came along — and, there were no other siblings ahead of me. Today, I am 49, and my mum is 91. Again, as you say, the proverbial bus can happen to anyone, any time. But, sometimes we defy statistics and expectations. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

      • I am rather familiar with the Pity Party. I have been known to throw quite an excellent party — though, I always seem to be the only guest. πŸ™‚

        In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t hurt to feel sorry for ourselves from time to time … it makes us look around and see that there are good things around us.

        I mentioned that my mom was 42 when I was born. When I turned 42, I said to her “I can’t believe you had a kid at 42.” I was looking at myself, my life, thinking holy cow! At 42 we’re fairly set in our ways. So, I imagine an unexpected baby can send your brain reeling.

        This may sound horribly cheesy — but, you have the advantage of not being a new mom for the first time. You at least know what to expect (good and bad).

        But, I think it is ok to feel a little freaked out. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

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